F1 silly season dictionary for dummies

It’s bordering to the ridiculous when a driver (or a manager … or both) say „there’s nothing signed“ or „I got no contract“ at this time of the year. Who do you think you’re kidding, dude? OK, admittedly they don’t even have to lie to say that. That’s because of the legal procedures even most journos aren’t aware of. So here’s the Formula 1 silly season dictionary for dummies to help everyone a bit lost between what you’ve read here and what drivers (or managers) keep saying.

Funny to see that a lot of journalists in a Formula 1 paddock still don’t seem to get to grips with how things work in there this time of the year and are easily satisfied with any comment they can get about the latest rumour. I remember well what happened in the aftermath of my post on the 29th of July, revealing that the Ferarri/Alonso deal is done. My fellow coleagues stormed the Renault Hospitality during the weekend of the Spanish GP at Valencia and quizzed Flavio Briatore about it. And Flav, of course, duly replied he had no knowledge of a contract between Ferrari and Fernando Alonso, the driver he used to manage. Yeah, right.

That’s the difference between seasoned insiders – with the right mobile numbers – and „F1 travel journalism“. You don’t actually need to be there. It’s far more important who you know to put things into perspective. So here’s some „translations“ for common F1 silly season phrases:

„Soandso is going to be a World Champion one day = … because that’s what I need to happen to cash in

„It’s all about money“ = I got some ( A LOT ! ) to forget about insisting on my contract.

„I’m disappointed“ = Those effing bastards!

„I haven’t signed anything“ = We, the team I’m going to drive for from 2010 on and I, have agreed on absolutely everything in detail and are waiting for the contract to be returned by the Contract Recognition Board so we can finally sign it

„Some interesting options have come up“ = tin tops, gardening, some thugs breaking both of my legs if I get into the way of what their bosses want to se happen…

„I’ve asked soandso and he said nothing has been signed“ = Call soandso a liar later on but not me.

„We’ve been talking“ = I came past him this morning at the gate in the paddock and said „hello“

„We’re still talking“ = I came past him again at the gate in the paddock and said „hello“ again.

„There’s no decision on that“ = There’s no decision on when we’re going to tell you what has long been decided

„We’re waiting on soandso’s answer“ = We’re on the bottom of his/their priority list

„An anouncement is expected soon“ = The lawyers are still sending drafts back and forth

and my favourite:

„It’s just speculation“ = how dare you to publicise something we didn’t allow you to do so?????

Another good one, that admittedly has got nothing to do with F1′s silly season, but is worth mentioning for just being plain silly:

„soandso knew all about (Crashgate) and didn’t tell“ = So did I and I was too chicken to blow the whistle, too